Monday, August 23, 2010

Collection of Funny One Liners !! :-)

I was recently going through some bugzilla quips. I am sharing a few of them which i liked. (Yes it is a few, because the collection was really hugeeeeee).




  • In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.

  • Once you get a B.S., you think you know everything. Once you get an M.S., you realize you know nothing. Once you get a Ph.D., you realize -no one- knows anything.

  • If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.

  • To iterate is human, to recurse divine.

  • The "Gnome ate my boyfriend! Help!" bug: https://bugzilla.gnome.org/show_bug.cgi?id=626593

  • Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

  • Vi is a subset of evil.

  • PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.

  • Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.

  • If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

  • To err is to human, but to forgive is not the company's policy

  • The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

  • Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

  • Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

  • Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

  • Banks will loan you money, if you can prove you don't need it.

  • Smart people listen to the opinions of others and those with opinions listen to smart people

  • Forgiveness is a wonderful idea, until you have something to forgive.

  • Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

  • I never discriminate, I hate people equally!

  • Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until it starts to work

  • Reality continues to ruin my life!

  • In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

  • Every generalization has an exception.

  • If you can't do it right now, don't do it wrong now, do it right later.

  • Light travels faster than sound, no wonder you find people seeming bright until you hear them speak.

  • If I'm not back in five minutes... Wait longer!

  • All programmers are optimists

  • There's no such thing as 'early.' There's only 'on time' and 'late'

  • Which port mysql runs on? USB Port - one of the interview candidates replied.

  • The difference between B tree and B+ tree is the presence of Positive (+) symbol - Answer given by a student during interview

  • There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics

  • Don't tell them we failed. Tell them we decided to temporarily postpone our success.

  • In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

  • There are two types of engineers: the type that writes code and the type that documents that code.

  • Life is 10 times faster with NOJAVA=1

  • Yeah, but law of physics- The computer is fine, liquid spills on it... computer is not fine.

  • When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

  • Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.

  • Computers make extremely fast.... meticulously accurate.... ..... ..... mistakes!

  • The Queue Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.

  • There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

  • For any problem there is a solution that is simple, quick, and ultimately worse than the problem.

  • Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

  • If it doesn't run, try the --do-it

  • Life can only be understood backwards; but it can only be lived going forward.

  • Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day.

  • The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

  • "To be is to do"-Socrates; "To do is to be"-Plato; "Do Be Do Be Do Scooby Dooby Do"



-Vignesh